the hairykat chronicles presents pet peeve friday: LA TRAFFIC, an open letter
"Dear LA Traffic,
I HATE YOU! You are selfish and unrelenting...."so what time are you trying to get there?" is how every convo starts because of you....if its 10 I better leave at 7 for a destination 20 minutes away according to google maps, and Shaquan...my gps lady!
I dont understand you! You are mesmerized with not moving! What is traffic anyway! You thought Blue Ivy was a different yet symbolic name, I'm going to name my next child Traffic A'lways Latte Franklin!
Traffic -'the movement of vehicles, ships, persons, etc., in an area, along a street, through an air lane, over a water route, etc'
You see that LA traffic in its own definition traffic requires movement! BUT NO NO! We're here on the 405 605 105 210 10 91 57 and all the other lotto numbers not moving, but in the parking lots of HELL....
The baby cusses now at the sound of a horn, there's a permanent stain on my rearview mirror of my middle fingerprint for all the drivers that ignored my blinker to change lanes at the last minute, I yell with the windows up so I just look like a maniac a bit raging bull-ish like my eyebrows just look angry like I'm getting ready to growl at someone kind of like a permanent ice cube facial expression,
My hair's all matted in the back, my back hurts, I'm sweating....and I woke up happy...nope not not even on the wrong side of the bed but hopped on the freeway... and by the time I get to where I'm going I'm angry, attitude and all still amped up on road rage ! I HATE YOU!
And now I can't eat or use my phone in traffic, really? what am I supposed to do? I know what I could be doing....taxes, painting my nails, reading a book, playing jenga! I probably couldve typed this blog on the 405, Hell, why not I'm not going anywhere anyway...
and furthermore, if people would stop stopping to look at the accidents then maybe there would be less accidents and traffic...would umm...move!
So L.A. Traffic! This one's for you!"
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